Honey to Burn (Sweet & Dirty BBW MC Romance Book 10) Read online

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  December 6th

  The meeting between RaeAnn, Ellen, the attorney Ellen had hired, and Mac and his attorney took place in the offices of Pierce & Brodnan, Attys. at Law, in downtown Spokane.

  It had snowed the night before, leaving a few inches of wet, fluffy white on the ground, branches of trees, and rooftops. RaeAnn and her mother were wrapped up in wool coats and gloves.

  Marie Pierce, the lawyer Ellen had hired, obviously knew Mac’s lawyer, as they used first names and smiled when they shook hands.

  Mac, wearing a charcoal gray blazer over a crisp white shirt and black jeans, nodded to RaeAnn when he walked in, but he did not smile.

  And RaeAnn felt his somber, guarded gaze like a knife to her chest. She wished suddenly, desperately, that she could turn back the clock and have that talk he’d asked for back in November.

  But then his gaze dropped to her hand, which rested on her belly, still flat under her black knit top and slacks. Rae watched his expression soften, and tears pricked at the back of her eyes.

  He hadn’t smiled at her, but he smiled at the baby. It was too late, then. They were going to be co-parents, but that was all.

  Suddenly, she realized how she’d looked forward to this meeting, to seeing him. Hoping that face-to-face, he’d give her a sign they should work things out, start over on the talk about a possible relationship.

  She looked away, wondering wildly what they’d all think if she ran out of the room and left her mother and the attorney to deal with all of this.

  “RaeAnn?” her mother said, touching her arm.

  Which was when Rae realized that Marie Pierce had spoken to her. The attorney, tall and slim in a perfectly cut navy suit with her silver hair in a French roll, looked to Rae as if she’d never harbored a single doubt about how to conduct her own life. She raised her brows at Rae. “Are we ready to begin?”

  Rae nodded, flushing. “Yes, sorry. Yes.”

  She rubbed a fold of her slacks between her thumb and forefinger as Mac’s lawyer began to speak in a deep, smooth voice.

  It turned out that Mac really did want to be an involved father. As the lawyer read the list of demands, Rae couldn’t help gazing wonderingly at Mac.

  He wanted the baby to call him Dad, even if she married another guy? Not that she could even imagine that right now. Mac hadn’t wanted to marry her… and she was pretty sure not a lot of single guys were eager to take on another man’s baby. So she’d likely be just like her mother, single forever. If her spirits hadn’t already been somewhere down near her heels, this realization would have dropped them there.

  RaeAnn’s attorney was speaking now. “Hmm, certainly a comprehensive list on Mr. Carson’s part. We have some requests of our own. We’ll begin with child support.”

  Rae jerked forward. “Wait, what? No! I didn’t ask for that.”

  Ellen grasped her arm and gave her a narrow-eyed look. “Hush, and let her speak.”

  Mac was watching Rae as if she’d suddenly begun speaking in a foreign language. She dragged her gaze away from him and back to her attorney. “I said no. We do not require child support.”

  “Rae,” Mac said, leaning forward. “It’s okay—”

  She crossed her arms and glared at him. “No, it is not, Mac. You don’t make enough to be giving me money. Save it for when she’s old enough to spend time with you.”

  Mac’s attorney cleared his throat and looked to Marie Pierce. “Do you need a moment alone with your client?”

  “Yes, I believe so,” the attorney said.

  The moment the door closed behind the two men, Rae, Ellen, and Marie Pierce all spoke at once. Ellen held up an imperious hand for quiet.

  “Marie is looking out for your and the child’s best interests,” Ellen snapped. “So kindly let her do her job.”

  “It is customary to ask the father for financial support,” Marie said gently to Rae. “Since men’s earning power is generally greater.”

  Rae shook her head. “Not Mac. He’s—he has an important job, as an EMT, but it doesn’t pay very well. I expect I’ll be making more than him, once I get hair styling clientele.”

  Ellen gave a tsk of disgust. “That is hardly guaranteed, RaeAnn. Raising a child is expensive—of course he should help out.”

  Part of Rae wanted to slump back in her chair and give in, let Ellen do whatever she was going to do. But another part was furious because Ellen was going after Mac, and even though he didn’t want to be with her, Rae did not want him hurt, not on her account. And taking money he couldn’t afford to give definitely qualified as hurting him.

  She swallowed hard and shook her head. “No, mother. He’ll have enough expenses on his end. He’ll have to buy things at his place, too. And—and I want to see what else you’ve written down. Then I’ll tell you whether I want that or not.”

  Ellen glared, and Rae flushed, but returned the look. The attorney raised her brows, in what looked like a gesture of respect, and handed over the paper.

  Rae forced herself to concentrate on it. The list was similar to Mac’s. She read through it once, twice, then nodded. “All right. The rest is fine.”

  As she handed the paper back, her hand shook slightly, but she sat straight in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. “Oh, and if he gets married, his w-wife doesn’t get to adopt the baby, either,” she said.

  Marie nodded crisply. “We’ll add that. Anything else?”

  Rae shook her head. Imagining Mac with another woman was enough trauma for her, thanks very much.

  The rest of the meeting, Mac kept smiling at Rae, in a kind of secret way, with his eyes.

  She didn’t know what to make of this, or the way his attorney looked at her now when he made a remark or asked a question. It was as if they’d been out in the hallway talking about her or something.

  Her mother certainly didn’t like it. When they’d concluded their negotiations, Rae and Mac had signed the papers and everyone was on their feet, Ellen inserted herself between Rae and the men on their way to the door.

  “Rae,” Mac said, around her mother. “Can we talk? Go have a coffee—or cocoa for you?”

  She opened her mouth, but Ellen answered for her. “No, she cannot. She needs to get to work, as do I.”

  Which was true—Tracy and Svetlana were minding E for the morning and both had other plans for the afternoon.

  “Sorry,” Rae mouthed to Mac and then held her hand to her ear in the universal symbol for ‘call me’.

  He nodded, the smile gone from his eyes.

  And of course Rae obsessed about that all afternoon, while trying to concentrate on her job.

  And her mother was right there, adding to her angst. “Now don’t get caught up with that man again,” she warned as they straightened racks at the end of the day. “He’s just not… well, he’s not the kind of man I would hope to see you end up with, that’s all.”

  “Who would you like?” Rae asked, her jaw tight. “Seth?

  “Why not? He’s a very nice young man, with a good job at the bank, plenty of room for advancement.”

  “True,” Rae agreed. “And when he’s not at work, he’s a complete couch potato. His idea of a great weekend is ordering in and playing video games.”

  Nothing against video games, the new ones were pretty cool. They just weren’t Rae’s thing.

  “Well, one can’t expect that a couple will have all the same interests,” Ellen persisted.

  “Mother,” Rae sighed. “Give it up. Seth and I will never, ever get back together.”

  Of course, probably neither would she and Mac.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  That evening, Rae had a message on her phone from Mac.

  ‘Bet you’re tired tonight. Can I come over tomorrow? Be after supper, I’m on day shift.’

  She smiled at the phone, her stupid eyes tearing up. At least he wanted to spend a little time with her.

  ‘Sure. I’ll be here.’

  He knock
ed on her front door at seven. Rae rushed out of her bedroom, then stopped and blew out a breath.

  “Act casual,” she reminded herself. Yeah, like she hadn’t spent the last hour going through her clothing like a tornado, choosing what to wear.

  She’d finally settled on her cute but warm cream cashmere sweater—a gift from Linda last Christmas—her favorite jeans, and her brown ballet flats. The sweater had a deep vee neckline, so Rae wore a lace cami underneath. Her hair was carefully styled to look natural, and she’d donned her favorite gold dangle earrings.

  When she opened the door, Mac gave her an appreciative up-and-down look and smiled. “Hey, gorgeous. I brought drinks.” He held up a six-pack of beer and one of soda, both dangling from one hand. “Thought you might like this ginger ale. It’s one of the fancy kind, brewed in Seattle. No caffeine or artificial ingredients.”

  She smiled back and then shivered as a gust of cold wind followed him in the door. “That’s so sweet, thank you. Come on in.”

  The door closed behind him. Mac set the drinks on the kitchen island and handed her a flat box, still in a shiny cellophane wrapper.

  “What’s this?”

  “Rummikub™. You ever played? Easy and kinda fun. Somethin’ to do besides watch TV, you know?”

  She nodded. “Sure, let’s try it.” She was happy to do almost anything to spend time with him, although she wasn’t going to admit that.

  First, they needed to clear the air.

  RaeAnn held the game box and stared at it as she searched for the courage to speak up. “Mac… what you said last time you were here—about my mother doing all my thinking for me—”

  He stepped forward, taking the box away and setting it on her kitchen counter. Then he tipped her face up with one hand. “Babe, I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. My feelings were hurt, and I guess I wanted to hurt you back.”

  She eyed him doubtfully, her heart thumping. “I… did I hurt your feelings when I didn’t want to move in with you?”

  He grimaced. “Yeah. Yeah, you did. I spent a wad of money and time fixin’ the place up. And then you shot me down without even seeing it.”

  Rae winced. “I’m sorry too then.” She wished in this moment that she could just take that leap and agree to move in with him. But she wasn’t willing to go that far, not right now.

  His face relaxed in that warm smile she liked so much. “Okay. We’re both sorry, so that’s out of the way. So, how about we just… spend some time together? Get to know each other better?”

  Her shoulders sagged with relief. She smiled at him. “Okay. I—I’d really like that. Let’s do that.”

  He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze and let her go. “Okay.”

  Drinks in hand, they settled on the floor by the coffee table and spread the game out. Mac was right, it was easy and fun, and they could talk while they played.

  He asked how she was feeling, and she told him better, which was such a relief as her beauty school training started in 3 weeks.

  She asked about his job, and he shared he was signed up for paramedic training, beginning in March.

  They played, laughed, and talked about nothing much. When she yawned hugely, he smiled at her, and said, “Time for me to go, so you can sleep, mama.”

  “Okay,” she said, regret in her gaze.

  Mac put the game away, stowed the rest of their drinks in the fridge, and bent to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

  “See you,” he said softly. “You need anything, you call me, right?”

  She nodded, gratitude and something more swelling sweet and painful in her chest.

  He gave her a wink, grabbed his jacket, and was out the door into the winter night, fresh snow swirling around him as he swung up into his pickup truck.

  The Christmas season hit, full force. E Boutique was slammed with customers both dressing for holiday parties and buying gifts. Tracy fell on the icy sidewalk outside and broke her ankle, which meant E was short-staffed at the worst possible time.

  Mac took Rae to lunch a couple of times, but other than that he had to settle for dropping off his gifts for her on Christmas Eve day, on his way to Wenatchee to spend the holiday with his family

  After much dithering, RaeAnn had also bought Mac a gift. She handed it to him with her heart beating swiftly, a nervous smile on her lips.

  “Mama,” he said, taking the box with a smile. “Thanks. I’ll have fun opening this tomorrow. Talk soon, okay?”

  Without waiting for an answer, he bent and pressed a warm kiss, not to her cheek this time, but to her lips. Transfixed, Rae stood there, wishing his warm mouth could be on hers forever.

  Instead, she got a chuckle from him and a wink as he turned and sauntered out of the store, and out of sight.

  “RaeAnn,” said her mother sharply. “We have clients waiting.”

  Right. Of course they did. Rae dragged her eyes open, pasted a smile on her face, and got back to work. But half of her heart followed Mac down the street and away.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Mac phoned RaeAnn Christmas morning from Wenatchee.

  He had to step outside on his parents’ back porch, away from the hubbub of Christmas music, his nephews running around with the new toy Nerf guns he’d given them, his sister and her husband arguing over some stupid shit, and his dad instructing his mother on how to cook the Christmas ham—something she’d been doing for thirty years.

  When he heard Rae’s soft voice on the line, he shook his head. “Babe,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

  She’d given him two things, a tiny, white tee-shirt that said ‘I Heart My Daddy’ and a card with the date and time of her next appointment with the obstetrician.

  RaeAnn laughed nervously. “Hi. I mean, Merry Christmas. Do you like what I got you?”

  He grinned at the snow-covered hills across the narrow valley. “Merry Christmas to you, too. I more than like ‘em. Best Christmas gifts ever.” Because both meant she wanted him to be involved, to witness the prenatal development of their baby and be a real dad. “How’d you like yours?”

  She laughed again, this time more relaxed. “I love it. It fits, too—at least for now.”

  He grinned. He’d given her a black tee that read ‘Beauticians Do It With Style’ in sparkly pink letters. “Good. I want to see it on you when I get back.”

  The back door burst open behind him, and his nephews charged out. “Unca Mac! Come and play shoot with us!”

  “I gotta go,” he called into his phone. “Talk to you later, okay?”

  She said something, he couldn’t hear what over his nephews’ clamoring, and that was it for their chat.

  But there’d be many more. He was counting on that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  In January, RaeAnn’s classes began. She attended the first day with her heart hammering with excitement, which did not abate as she toured the site, met her classmates, and collected the course materials.

  By that evening, she was tired, and it had snowed most of the day at near freezing temps which meant she had to drive home on icy roads. She drove slowly, her hands clenched on the steering wheel. Once home, she was so exhausted she fell into bed without even eating supper.

  The next morning, she woke to her phone pinging, and picked up her phone to find Mac messaging her. ‘I’m driving you to school. Be there at 7:30.’

  Oh. That was… unexpected and sweet. ‘Why?’ she texted back.

  ‘Roads are pure ice.’ he answered. ‘And you need new tires.’

  He drove her to school in his big pickup truck, took her car keys with him, and promised to be back to pick her up at five.

  When she walked outside the beauty school building, he was waiting for her, with her car. He smiled at her, and she shook her head at him. “What? My car is suddenly safe to drive?” she asked.

  “It is now.” He opened the passenger door for her. “Put all-season radial tires on it.”

  Then he closed her door and walked around to sl
ide into the driver’s seat.

  Rae stared at him, her mouth open. “But—but… you didn’t have to do that,” she managed as he started up the motor.

  He gave her a look as he turned the wheel and backed out of the parking slot. “Babe. You should’ve done it in the fall. You didn’t, so I did.”

  “Oh, Mac… thank you,” she said, sniffling quietly.

  “Ah, man, don’t cry.” He gave her the side-eye, looking nervous as a horse about to bolt.

  This made her laugh. She sniffled again, wiping her eyes carefully with a tissue from her purse. “I can’t help it. It’s so sweet. You bought me tires.”

  He shrugged as they rolled out of the snow-covered lot and onto the street. “Eh, you can bake me some cookies. I like chocolate chip, with nuts.”

  “Me too,” she said, and her tummy growled, as if on cue.

  He heard, of course. “You wanna go get something to eat?”

  “Yes! I’m starving.”

  “This place okay?” He jerked his chin at the Applebee’s coming up on the right.

  “Yes! Oh, my God, I want a cheeseburger—and fries.” She wanted all the fries.

  “Comin’ right up.”

  In the cheery restaurant, they were shown to a cozy booth, and soon they were both enjoying plump, juicy cheeseburgers and fries. Rae took a huge bite and moaned with pleasure, her eyes closing.

  She opened them to find Mac watching her, a pained look on his face.

  “What?” she asked, picking up her napkin. “Do I have ketchup on my face?”

  He shook his head and took a bite of his own burger, then chewed, his eyes twinkling.

  “What?” she hissed, leaning across the narrow table. “Is it on my nose or something?”

  “You don’t have ketchup on your face,” he told her around his bite of burger. “Just glad you like your food, that’s all.”

  Rae hid behind her napkin, her face flaming. Chuckling again, Mac bumped her foot with his boot. “Babe, eat your supper.”

  She took a smaller bite the next time and watched him warily as she chewed. He winked at her. “How’s your first week of school goin’?”